Imagine driving home on the highway and realizing that your car is pulling hard to the left.  You have to hold your steering wheel to the right in order not to drift into the next lane.  Your car is totally out of alignment!

Would you just ignore that and keep driving the car on a tilt?  

I doubt it.  But that is exactly what we are all doing when we live our lives with no clue as to what truly matters to us.  Living out of alignment with your values is what leads to burnout.  

In 2012, I was seeing a therapist because I struggled with test taking.  When I had to take boards I had crippling self-doubt and anxiety about it.  One of the exercises my therapist had me do was evaluate and identify my personal values.  We used a tool called the personal values card sort.  There are 80 words in small boxes that you cut out and sort into three categories; very important to me, important to me, and not important to me.

I printed and cut these out and spent an evening on the floor of my living room “sorting out” my values.  It was a long process because I took it seriously and wanted to know who I was and where I wanted to go.

I had never understood that my happiness in life was so directly related to how I was honoring my top values.   I was surprised when I had finished. 

As my therapist and I processed my sort, I discovered that I was living in a way and putting pressures on myself that did not support my personal values. 

One card that I remember being particularly shocked by was “Achievement: to have important accomplishments”.  I had put that in the “Not Important to Me” column! 

One of my roles at work was in academics and getting promoted as a professor at the university.  This had requirements that ranged from having to teach students, clinical work, and being published.  I could care less about getting published and I now understood why. 

Being formally recognized for my accomplishments was not one of my core values.

I was trying to be something that I didn’t want to be and honestly could not be. 

This was a turning point for me.  I stepped away from commitments at work that were stressing me out and identified others that energized me because they aligned with my values.  My satisfaction at work improved, I felt more confident, and yes, I passed my boards.  

Can you think of an area of your life that is dragging you down, because it is counter to who and what you truly want to be?  Does it make you feel tired just thinking about it?  Can you recognize that you often procrastinate when you are faced with a task related to this area?  

This internal struggle between an obligation and your lack of interest in it is what leads to burnout.  Your energy and motivation are sapped and you feel like “something is just missing”.  

You can enrich your everyday life by clarifying your values and choosing to live in accordance with them. You can build a life which does not include procrastination or avoidance because you understand your values and for the most part, eliminate those things that don’t serve you or your values. If you clarify your values, you are more likely to make in-the-moment choices that agree with your them. When faced with the temptation to make choices that don’t serve you well, such as engaging in bad habits or treating other people unkindly, returning to your values can give you the confidence to make the choices that benefit you long-term.  

If you determine that mental stimulation is one of your priorities, then maybe you will make time to attend that cool sounding lecture you heard about.  

Or maybe family time is one of your top priorities.  Perhaps there is a way to finagle your schedule so that you have every August off for family travel or hang out time.  

Once you know what is important, you can work on figuring out how to rearrange things to honor your values.  Imagine the energy and happiness you could have then!

Living aligned with your values is a freeing experience!